A friend treats me like a therapist and gives me play by plays over text and voicenote of issues in her life. I often just don’t reply as I don’t have the bandwidth and don’t do this in return. Is this ok? I would reply in emergency situations
Amelia, you need to tell your friend that she treats you like a therapist.
In a previous newsletter, I talked about using the gracious, direct, and warm method when saying a hard thing. That would look like: "I always love hearing from you, friend! I've noticed when you send me elaborate play-by-plays over text and voice note that it makes me feel like your therapist, which I'm sure isn't your intention. I'd prefer if you'd either make a phone date with me to talk or see if it can wait until our next hang out. Love you!!!"
Friendships require maturity and communication. You can do this!!! Just be direct.
🥺 I am nervous but you are right, I will only feel resentment otherwise! Thank you!
I had to be direct with my friend about a similar issue and we're now closer than ever. Let me know how it goes!
Thank you! I’ve realised I don’t know what healthy friendships look like - would love to see a post on this specifically in the future
A friend treats me like a therapist and gives me play by plays over text and voicenote of issues in her life. I often just don’t reply as I don’t have the bandwidth and don’t do this in return. Is this ok? I would reply in emergency situations
Amelia, you need to tell your friend that she treats you like a therapist.
In a previous newsletter, I talked about using the gracious, direct, and warm method when saying a hard thing. That would look like: "I always love hearing from you, friend! I've noticed when you send me elaborate play-by-plays over text and voice note that it makes me feel like your therapist, which I'm sure isn't your intention. I'd prefer if you'd either make a phone date with me to talk or see if it can wait until our next hang out. Love you!!!"
Friendships require maturity and communication. You can do this!!! Just be direct.
It might seem scary to raise an issue, but you're doing her a favor by letting her know your preferences.