When You Don't Know What To Say, Share A Wish

My favorite lifehack + and some reccos

Are lifehacks still a thing or did we leave them behind in the last decade, like owning a standalone iPod and enjoying Louis C.K.’s comedy? Because I have an AMAZING friendship hack for you!

Next time you don’t know what to say to a friend who’s had a setback or is going through a hard time, share a fantasy with them. This strategy works well if you can’t physically be with your friend soon, but want to comfort them without giving empty platitudes.

On a drab day:

• I wish we were in a laying on a beach sipping pina coladas right now

• I wish we were camping under the stars, miles away from civilization

• I wish we could leave our jobs and go to Italy for a month to eat pasta and flirt with the locals

During a tough time:

• I wish we were on my couch together eating Thai food and watching Vanderpump Rules

• I wish we could take the day off to get massages and eat comically oversized salads

When they’re in pain:

• I wish I could take all your pain away and give you the biggest hug

When they’re lonely:

• I wish I lived next door to you so we could drink coffee on your porch every morning

Why this works

Dreaming aloud not only re-enforces your friendship, it also highlights your commonalities: you and me are so alike. We enjoy the same things. I’m still your person.

---

Things to Read

Nearly Departed by Gila Pfeffer. A tremendous, un-put-down-able memoir about one woman’s journey fighting breast cancer. I interviewed Gila for this Substack so that’ll come out soon!

My friend Angelica Ferrara’s fantastic piece in Aeon Magazine: “Too many men lack close friendships. What’s holding them back?” Men are on the strugglebus and here’s why!

This New Yorker article that asks: Can the Human Body Endure a Voyage to Mars? The answer is *collar tug* probably not?

Things to Watch

Love on the Spectrum (Netflix) - A perfect show. No notes.

Last One Laughing (Prime) - 10 comedians. One rule: don’t laugh! I’ve watched the UK one, the Canadian one and now I’m watching the Australian one. A GEM.

Thanks for reading!

Your buddy,

Anna