What Shark Tank teaches us about modern friendships
Hi Sharks! My name is Anna Goldfarb and I'm seeking a 10% increase in high-fives
Hey all!
Here’s a message from me about why I chose a greedy capitalistic show like Shark Tank to use as a source text today.
With that out of the way, let’s get into today’s newsletter.
Hi all!
I’m pretty much always in the mood to watch the TV show Shark Tank. The 10-15 minute vignettes are the perfect length to watch on my iPad while doing my nightly skin care routine (oil cleanser + gentle cleanser + acid toner + hydrating spray + a French hyaluronic acid cream + more hydrating spray + dabs of eye cream + thick-ass moisturizer + facial oil + more hydrating spray I’m not even kidding).
The problem: Plans rarely happen, even with people you like.
What Shark Tank gets right: It shows how important it is to impart useful information so people can make decisions quickly.
Every Shark Tank pitch starts with an entrepreneur explaining:
1. Who the entrepreneurs are
2. What they’re looking for
Like this:
“Hi, Sharks! My name is Cher and I’m here today seeking $50,000 for a 10% investment in my company Clueless Closets.”
By being explicit about their needs and wants, everyone in the room is on the same page right out of the gate. Spending less time quantifying the ask means they can get to the dealmaking quicker.
What science has to say about this: Imagine if an entrepreneur walked in and didn’t explain who they were and what investment they were looking for. Not only would it create a lot of confusion, but it would make it near-impossible for the Sharks to invest in a company they know nothing about. They’d have to spend a lot of additional time sussing out the ask.
Our brains are prediction machines. When we can’t predict something, that uncertainty creates anxiety.
This is why messages like, “Hey! We should hang out sometime,” rarely go anywhere.
Without giving a reason for the get together, your friend is left to fill in the blanks. All you need is a few bad experiences before you become low-key paranoid of new people: Why do they want to get together? Are they trying to sell me junk from an MLM? Are they trying to recruit me into a cult? Do they want to harvest an organ?
How to apply this to your friendships: Be upfront with your intentions when reaching out to people. This will lessen the message receiver’s anxiety.
Look at the difference between these two text messages from Friend #1 to Friend #2:
Friend #1: “Hey! I miss you. Let’s get together in the new year! xoxo”
Friend #2: “OMG totally! Yes! I’d love that.”
Result: Nothing happens because the ask was too vague.
Now look at this exchange:
Friend #1: “Hey! I miss you. I’ve been thinking about my creative goals this year and was wondering if you had any too. Maybe we could be each other’s accountability buddy? Want to get together and see how we can help one another get shit done in 2024?”
Friend #2: “Honestly, I would love that. Would Sunday afternoon at 2pm work? We can meet at the cafe near your house.”
Friend #1: “Yes! Works for me! Can’t wait to see you.”
Result: Plans happen because the ask is specific.
Next time you reach out to a friend, take a few seconds to explain why you want to see them. Don’t make them guess.
Hi friend! I’d love to hear how your new job is going. Want to grab lunch sometime this week?
Hey girl! I see you’re back from your honeymoon. I want to hear how married life is going for you. Want to grab tapas on Wednesday?
Hi friend! Want to get together on Saturday for coffee? I want to hear all about your trip to New Mexico. Did you see any aliens lol?
Hi friend! I’m thinking about going into your job field. Can I take you out to lunch so I can learn more about what you do?
When you give your friends more information, they’ll be more likely to say yes to the plans your propose.
Try it out the next few weeks and see if it makes a difference in your life.
Rooting for you always,
Anna
For some giggles, I asked ChatGPT to write a Shark Tank-esque pitch about my book, MODERN FRIENDSHIP, which comes out June, 4, 2024. You can read my AI-generated pitch below. Enjoy!
[Opening Scene]
[Camera zooms in on a confident entrepreneur standing in front of the Sharks, a stack of books in hand.]
Entrepreneur: "Good evening, Sharks! My name is Anna Goldfarb, and I'm here to introduce you to a groundbreaking book that's going to revolutionize the way we view and navigate adult friendships. I'm seeking [amount] in exchange for [percentage] equity in my company, 'Modern Friendship: How to Nurture Your Most Valued Connections.'"
[Slide 1: Book Cover]
Entrepreneur: "Sharks, we all know that adult friendships can be as elusive as a great white shark. In a world dominated by social media, we often find ourselves drowning in shallow waters of small talk and surface-level connections."
[Slide 2: The Problem]
[Graphs and statistics show the decline in the quality of adult friendships.]
Entrepreneur: "Studies show that loneliness is on the rise, despite the seemingly connected world we live in. People are hungry for genuine connections, but they just don't know how to navigate the murky waters of adult friendships. That's where 'Modern Friendship' comes in."
[Slide 3: The Solution]
[Visuals of the book's contents, chapters, and key concepts.]
Entrepreneur: "This book is a comprehensive guide to demystifying adult friendships. It covers everything from initiating conversations to deepening connections, overcoming common friendship pitfalls, and creating a meaningful social circle. 'Modern Friendship' is not just a book; it's a roadmap for building lasting connections."
[Slide 4: Unique Selling Points]
[Highlights of what sets the book apart – practical tips, real-life stories, expert advice.]
Entrepreneur: "What sets 'Modern Friendship' apart is its blend of practical tips, real-life stories, and insights from experts in psychology and social dynamics. It's not just theory; it's a hands-on guide that readers can apply to their own lives immediately."
[Slide 5: Market Potential]
[Statistics on the self-help book market, target audience, and potential reach.]
Entrepreneur: "Sharks, the self-help book market is booming, and 'Modern Friendship' caters to a universal need. With a target audience spanning mid-life adults, professionals, and anyone craving genuine connections, the market potential is enormous."
[Closing]
Entrepreneur: "In conclusion, Sharks, 'Modern Friendship' is not just a book; it's a movement towards a more connected society. I invite you to join me in making a difference in people's lives by investing [amount] for [percentage] equity. Let's create a world where adult friendships are no longer a mystery but a source of joy and fulfillment. Thank you."
[The entrepreneur awaits the Sharks' responses, ready for the opportunity to bring 'Modern Friendship' to a broader audience.]